Things that People Pleasers Do and How to stop! 

A people pleaser is someone who goes to great lengths to please others and when I say great lengths I am referring to the fact that is to the detriment of their well-being. People pleasing does not involve compromise, compassion or negotiation, people pleasing is the desire to make others happy because it is connected to the individual’s self worth, self esteem and is a problem that needs addressing. The people pleasers that I have worked with tend to consider putting others before themselves as loving and a good aspect of their character but also carry resentment, guilt, health problems both mental and physical and are often very tired!

So why do people people please?

Fear

People pleaser are often scared to voice their true opinion, needs, wants and desires. They will agree to keep the peace and will do anything to avoid conflict and confrontation.

Habit Hack – Feel the fear and do it anyway! Facing your fears is incredibly liberating and it can be a slow and gradual process when each day or week you do something that makes you feel nervous, uncomfortable and/or scared but do the activity anyways and build up. You could start with being honest about what you need, saying no or self care.

EFT is a wonderful tool to release fear so tap before and know that saying “No” is good for your health even if someone wants to hear a yes.

Empath Vibes

ALL the people pleasers that I have met are empaths. They can feel, sense or know when another is experiencing a negative emotion. Some feel it in their physical bodies, whilst others are more clairsentient and simply know, they intuitively know that someone else’s vibe will affect theirs. It is sometimes a case of; if they feel bad, I will feel bad, I don’t want to feel bad and get double the bad so I will ensure that THEY feel good so I only have to deal with my bad. Do you recognise this pattern?

Habit Hack – Know your empath, cleanse and protect. Energetic protection is vital, it is not optional. When you protect your energy you are less likely to absorb others energies, you can be a by-stander and observe. From this energetic position you are in a stronger place to acknowledge other’s needs but also acknowledge yours too.

Sorry and No

Do you say sorry at lot? People pleasers are wonderful apologisers. This is also tied in with fear. They worry that conflict may arise so they consider sorry a solution. This is not resolution, this is brushing concerns under the carpet and resentment can build up.

Do you say yes at lot when you’d like to say no? Again, this tends to be in order to avoid conflict but leaves the people pleasers with inner conflict between their needs and the needs of others.

Habit Hack – Own your sh!t and let others do the same! When are responsible for our own actions and reactions it is much easier to step back and say sorry or give others the nudge that they need to delve into some self reflection. You are not doing anyone any favours by saying sorry and never saying no.

Heavy Burdens

You carry guilt because you feel responsible for others happiness and the burden of that is heavy! The burdens may also leave you feeling burnt out and frustrated because you don’t get any time for yourself.

Habit Hack – Know that you are not responsible for other’s happiness, they are! Yes it is important to be compassionate and kind but it is also important that you look after yourself too. Create a balance when possible to avoid getting tired and wired.

Depleted Solar Plexus

A depleted solar plexus may manifest in digestive problems, burn out, daily fatigue, the need for validation from others, a lack of self worth, low self esteem, people pleasing and it all becomes a self perpetuating cycle.

Habit Hack – Eat yellow foods, visualise a protective yellow bubble surrounding you, use affirmations, journal and explore the why’s, why do you people please? What is at the root and address it.

Need some extra support?

I have several things that can help.

If you like to stop people pleasing and feel confident to set boundaries?
Join The Conscious Creators Club, Monday 5th April 2021 7-8pm, and activate your inner strength by cleansing, balancing and activating the Solar Plexus.
The Solar Plexus is the centre of our personal identity, self worth, confidence and strength. When it is out of balance and depleted you may:
* Lack worth, self esteem and confidence
* Have difficulties saying no
* People please
* Have digestive problems
Your Journey as a Conscious Creator will involve:
* Breathe Work
* Group EFT to release beliefs around owning our personal empowerment and people pleasing
* Guided Meditation to cleanse, balance and activate the Solar Plexus
* Reflective Journalling
All aspects of the group session will enable you to align with your inner strength and have you owning your inner warrior!
Then, Monday 19th April 7-8pm, join The Conscious Creators Club and release that guilt. Guilt is something that we put on ourselves because we hold ourselves responsible and accountable for the outcome. However, do we really need to carry such heavy guilt burdens?
One study revealed that we carry 5 hours a week of guilty feelings!
Carrying guilt can lead to self sabotage in the form of emotional eating, unhealthy relationships, lack of self care, lack of boundaries, feelings of resentment, physical pains and much more be it conscious or sub-conscious.
Ready to release some guilt?
Your Journey as a Conscious Creator will involve:
* Breathe Work
* Group EFT to release guilt – starting general and getting to the specifics of what you need to focus on
* Guided Meditation to release guilt and replace with self forgiveness
All aspects of the group session will enable you to release your guilt burden with support and leave the session feeling lighter.

Let April be the month you lose some weight!

Each Group Session is £15 or £27 for two, please email: rebecca@theholisticcoach.co.uk to express your interest and to secure your place for one or both of the sessions or buy now here: http://www.paypal.me/RebeccaDaffeh